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Asa cum exista cuvinte importante si recomandate de specialistii in dezvoltare personala, la fel exista si “cuvinte capcana“, care limiteaza si impiedica iesirea din tiparele cunoscute.
“Intotdeauna” este un cuvant des folosit, mai ales cand facem referire la intamplarile negative din viata noastra.
“Intotdeauna tipa seful la mine cand gresesc.”
“Intotdeauna ne certam cand discutam despre acest subiect.”
Amintiti-va contextele in care l-ati utilizat si veti identifica si alte exemple.

De unde vine puterea cuvantului?

1. Puterea trecutului – folosirea cuvantului „intotdeauna” aduce experienta trecuta in contextul prezent sau viitor. Ceea ce-i confera putere este dorinta noastra de siguranta si confort. Cunosti trecutul si reactionez pe baza lui pentru ca este mai usor de depasit orice noua situatie care apare.
2. Generalizarea – filtram realitatea pornind de la un context specific pe care-l extindem asupra altor contexte asemanatoare. „Intotdeauna oamenii ma judeca dupa felul in care arat.”
3. Presupunerea rezultatului – avem anumite asteptari care ne determina sa presupunem ceea ce se va intampla sau felul in care vom reactiona in acel context.
Sa luam unul din exemplele de mai sus: “Intotdeauna ne certam cand discutam despre acest subiect.”
A existat in trecut o cearta care a pornit de la acelasi subiect. Pornind de la aceea experienta specifica am extins asupra tuturor contextelor viitoare cand vom aborda acel subiect. Imaginandu-ne contextul in care folosim aceasta fraza, observam ca problema este subiectul abordat, iar solutia este reprezentata de cearta la care se ajunge. Presupunem deja rezultatul la care ajungem si reactiile pe care le vom avea – cearta.

Ce face folosirea cuvantului „intotdeauna”?

1. Incadreaza o situatie prezenta sau viitoare in tiparul unei experiente cunoscute.
2. Elimina actiuni si abordari noi in cazul contextului specific.

Cum putem scapa de capcana lui „intotdeauna”?

1. Constientizarea contextului, situatiilor si a reactiilor este un prim pas prin care ne eliberam de acest blocaj.
2. Recadrarea situatiei prin reformulare: „Cand discutam acest subiect cu calm gasim mai multe solutii si imbunatatim comunicarea dintre noi.”
3. Schimbarea convingerilor limitative si a asteptarilor legate de aceea situatie. Avem puterea de a alege cum sa actionam si avem capacitatea de a renunta la reactii in favoarea unor raspunsuri diferite.

In spatele cuvantului “intotdeauna” stau convingeri fixe si asteptari venite din trecut pentru a ne ghida in viitor. In orice moment avem libertatea de a iesi din ceea ce ne limiteaza si de a urma un drum sau o cale noua.

Emotiile ne stapanesc gandurile si viata. Unele emotiile sunt negative si ne otravesc. Urmariti 7 pasi simpli pentru a va elibera de emotiile negative.